How to Stop Judging

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin,
you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path.
And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.
Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:1–2

Judging can become such a habit we hardly know we are doing it. But that neither excuses it nor removes the consequences. What is needed most of all is that we stop it! The beast within us must be conquered. Here are four suggestions that may help you as much as they have helped me.

First: Examine yourself before being tempted to inspect others. Focus on your own areas of weakness and error. For starters, look at your own impatience, laziness, pride, intolerance, greed, lust, ingratitude, anger, careless tongue, indifference, gluttony, pessimism, and worry, to name only a few. Self-examination does wonders when we are tempted to find fault.

Second: Confess your faults before confronting another. I cannot explain why, but there is something therapeutic about admitting one’s own weaknesses prior to facing someone you need to confront. It brings humility to the surface, sending pride to the pit . . . and humble, gentle confronters are the best confronters.

Third: Try to understand the other person’s struggle. That will make you gentle rather than harsh and condemning. Want a helpful tip? Start at home. If you can resolve the log-and-speck tension there, you’re qualified to do so elsewhere.

Fourth: Remember, the goal is restoration, not probation. We are to relieve a person’s burden, not add to it. I wish there were a support group in every church called “Gossips Anonymous.” It would be a great place for folks to go who cannot control the urge to judge, to malign, to put labels on those they criticize. Unfortunately, because Gossips Anonymous does not exist, self-appointed judges continue to run free, ignoring Jesus’ command and making life miserable for many in their own spiritual family, which is really God’s family. The pain they create is intense.

Judging continues in the name of Jesus, even though He is the One who commanded that we stop it.