Friendly—Inside and Out

Proverbs 18:24

ARE YOU ATTRACTIVE? I’m not referring to external beauty nor facial features. I’m asking if you are personally attractive—magnetic, winsome, charming, friendly. Reflect carefully on this interesting proverb:

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.


Do you see the point of the proverb? To have friends we must be friendly. Friendliness is a matter of being someone . . . more than it is doing something. The best overview of the wonder of how God designed you is found in Psalm 139.

A healthy attitude toward ourselves is necessary before there can be a healthy attitude toward others that will attract them as friends. To encourage you toward that vital objective, let me remind you of three simple, yet wonderful facts:

  • God originally designed and “prescribed” you (Psalm 139:13–17).
  • God is not through—He hasn’t completed His work in you (Romans 8:29; Ephesians 2:10).
  • The real you—that which God develops—is within you (1 Samuel 16:7).

Far more than your outward size, shape, features, and dress, your inner qualities are the things that make you attractive and friendly. First Peter 3:1–6 makes this abundantly clear. Stop and read those six verses. (Though the passage is addressed to wives, it has valuable advice for all believers.)

So, here’s the deal: rather than feeling obligated to “glad hand” everyone you see and work up an outward appearance of friendliness, take a close look at the inner you, the real you. Call to mind those qualities He has developed within you. Be encouraged by the fact that you have a unique combination of inner qualities found only in you and in no one else. Think of it this way: you have a contribution to make in just being yourself!

Take a few moments to read Psalm 139 in its entirety. Then pause to reflect on the wonder and goodness of God’s care in personally designing you as you. Thank Him for how He made you! In more ways than you ever realized, you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” God says so!

Devotional content taken from Good Morning, Lord . . . Can We Talk? by Charles R. Swindoll. Copyright © 2018. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a division of Tyndale House Ministries. All rights reserved. The full devotional can be purchased at

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Accuracy, clarity, and practicality all describe the Bible-teaching ministry of Charles R. Swindoll. Chuck is the chairman of the board at Insight for Living and the chancellor of Dallas Theological Seminary. Chuck also serves as the senior pastor of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, where he is able to do what he loves most—teach the Bible to willing hearts. His focus on practical Bible application has been heard on the Insight for Living radio broadcast since 1979.